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that girl i used to fancy when i had scales on my eyes posted a photo of her using a mug i gave her a long long time ago, and it just... made me livid.

i keep wanting to tell her she doesn't deserve that mug; recycle it or give it to someone else but don't use it yourself (nor sell it forward; don't benefit from my stupidity any more!)!!!

i spent so much on her, money and time and effort, and i never even received a thank you. not once that one little word in exchange for my paying her groceries or giving her and her inane pal presents to make them like me.
that's my mistake, ohh, i've learnt my lesson now.

i don't want to be the person who asks for their gifts back once a relationship is done and dusted, but i really also don't want her to continue using and enjoying the products of my fallacies.

you were rude to me, you were a terrible and twisted friend - you don't deserve presents i gave out of love!
(i am not saying i'm blameless - it just isn't the point of this specific topic right now.)

i just stew in my own dislike and hope for karma to come.

i don't like this part of me, but suppressing her isn't good for me at all. thankfully there's LJ - no one in my new current life reads it and the ones who knew of it have long moved on.

my head hurts.

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